PRETTY LITTLE LIARS, S5E7: ‘You don’t know me at all’


By David Oliver

Yet again, nothing happened. Alas, it yet again took about 42 minutes to realize this. Let’s crack the coffin (is that a saying?) on this week’s #PLL:


Aha! Parents sort of exist. The writers even threw in a quick line reminding us she’s been in Texas with Emily’s father. She suddenly wants to throw a dinner together for Emily and her friends, especially Alison. This should be good – and it is. Spencer and Aria bail, but a vodka-wasted Hanna makes an awkward dinner even more awkward for Emily, Mrs. Fields and Alison. Later, Mrs. Fields says she had an inkling in retrospect that Emily had more than friendly feelings for  and gives her a warning about still keeping Alison’s secrets and keeping up with her story: “You don’t have to keep saving her.” She’s right, Ems. Emily leaves a voicemail for Paige and almost says I love you. 


Sasha Pieterse (Alison), “Pretty Little Liars,” GIF courtesy


Earlier, Hanna has a little tiff with Ali, again challenging her authority. “Your wish is our command,” she scoffs. Caleb doesn’t trust Alison either, saying “I don’t know you that well,” to her “You don’t know me at all.” Touché, DiLaurentis. Caleb also left his exam, disappointing Hanna – and therefore making him a high school dropout? The Hanna/Caleb situation moved a couple inches this episode, resulting in a lip-lock after sobering up post-dinner at the Brew. Hanna’s the only Liar (excluding Alison) who didn’t get a text from “A” at the end of the episode. Watch your back, Han.


Aria meets Eddie at Radley, but that’s not the only person – she also meets Bethany’s ex-roommate Rhonda who’s been keeping all of Bethany’s drawings. She calls Aria a thief – and for someone “crazy,” she’s right. Aria takes the drawings and she and Spencer conclude there is some sort of connection between Bethany, Mrs. DiLaurentis and Toby’s mom. There are honestly too many characters on this show to keep track of. 


Spencer spent some time with Ezra this episode, trying to uncover more secrets. She borrows one of Ezra’s cameras to spy on Melissa and ends up seeing Alison on the other side of the lens. Melissa reminds Spencer, that despite all the lies in their family, “it is still about love.” Yeah, OK.


Quick hits

– The teaser for next week – did Mrs. Field’s [SPOILER] engagement invitation from Ella and Zack get poisoned?

– Hanna and Caleb sharing fries: “I should’ve asked.” “You never did.” – it’s a quick exchange, but it’s a testament to the intimacy of their relationship.

– “You can call me a lot of names, but an amateur?” Aah, here’s the Mona we’ve missed (?). Is there a chance she’s still A? I’d be sort of frustrated but sort of OK with it.


Janel Parrish (Mona Vanderwaal), “Pretty Little Liars,” GIF courtesy

– Sydney, WHO ARE YOU?! First, you touch Ali’s scarf – did you attack her? Then, you all of a sudden want to be BFFs with Hanna. Also, who says “having a hot date with my homework?” There’s something seriously twisted about this girl, and not in a fun way.

– Melissa threw away a dead rat from the barn. Red herring or did she mess with Paige?

– Hanna had a few zingers this episode. To Emily, re: “When did your mom start drinking beer?” “She washes her hair with it.” Re: Caleb, “He is the most unmistake thing in my life.” “Hanna knows what Hanna means.” But the ultimate line: she slips up Shana and Jenna’s names in front of Sydney. Something tells me Shana isn’t going quietly into the night anytime soon.

– Why weren’t the cops around this episode? After such a heavy presence throughout this early part of the season, why would they just not be questioning anyone?

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