by Josh Axelrod and David Oliver
Two words sum up this week’s “True Blood”: GODDAMMIT SOOKIE!!!! (Well, let’s discuss).
JOSH: I repeat, GODDAMMIT SOOKIE!!!! How can you feel bad for her when every bad thing that happens on this show is more or less her fault? Alcide’s death was only because he was out looking for her. What was she busy doing? BEING VAMPIRE BAIT. And her faux flirting with Bill that turned into a neck-sucking session gave him the weirdest, fastest-evolving Hep V we’ve seen yet. I bet it’s her fairy blood that’s somehow speeding up the process with Bill. Either way, as Pam would say: “I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina.”
DAVID: OK, let’s not be too mad at Ms. Stackhouse. As much as she is responsible for a lot of awful things on this show, she couldn’t have seen this coming. Didn’t Jessica and Sookie’s scenes together this week just melt your heart? Or how about the fact Bill is about to enter the scene? It’s going to be awkward but beautiful and sad, too.
JOSH: Okay, I sort of saw this coming. There had to be a magic deux ex machina that could cure Bill and Eric. But who would’ve guessed it would come in the form of Sarah herself? That’s actually a cool twist that keeps her relevant and justifies keeping the character alive this long. And her self-delusion — that she’s alive for the higher purpose of curing the disease she helped unleash — is breathtaking. She truly believes the past is behind her and nothing is her fault. That’s a level of crazy that not even Lettie Mae has matched.
DAVID: I LOVE crazy Sarah. Her character is arguably the most developed on the show right now. And that’s a real testament to Anna Camp. What a formidable actress – remind me why doesn’t she have her own show yet?
JOSH: How did Pam let herself get captured? That’s my only complaint with that storyline. Eric destroyed those guys while delirious with Hep V. And she gives even less than a crap than he does. But that aside, no complaints with these two. I particularly liked Eric’s line as they were told they were just going to sit in silver chains and await the sun: “Oh, our first sunrise together.”
DAVID: That line was lovely! Pam and Eric just shine on screen together (no pun intended, because they’re vampires and they glow or whatever). TVLine interviewed Kristin Bauer van Straten about the end of “True Blood” and it was an emotional roller coaster.
DAVID: Hold up! Was this vision of Tara on a cross with a snake for a boa a sign of something gravely dangerous, or just a V-induced hallucination? My vote is the former – Rutina Wesley can’t go out that quietly.
JOSH: I still maintain that Jessica is the most watchable character on this show. And her reactions to finding out that her maker was going to die and that one of her best friends was the reason were heartbreaking. And may I say, watching Bill destroy that crooked lawyer and her assistant was a beautiful moment. You forget that this show started off as an elaborate allegory for racism and broken legal systems not designed to protect the have-nots. His storyline reminded us just how low vampires were on the humans’ legal totem pole.
DAVID: This is the AIDS crisis reincarnated. And it’s just as heartbreaking even though this is a supernatural twist. When that mailman moved seats away from Bill I had to pause the show for a few minutes. How can people (err, vampires) turn on each other in their darkest moments? What an emotionally gripping final season this is – something I never really thought I would say about “True Blood,” ever.
JOSH: I was sure Violet was going to destroy Jason. I was almost pleasantly surprised that the show subverted expectations. God knows what she plans to do with Adeline and Wade. I assume she wants fairy blood for something or other. One things’s for sure: that girl is crazy. And to be fair, Jason did basically invite her to walk in on him and Jessica at Sookie’s party. Not that they ever had a chance of working, but she did give him a chance to be faithful. He may not have left her in the morning to be with Jessica, but he did bail on her and was constantly talking about how little he really felt for her. So hopefully she doesn’t go TOO crazy, but then again this is “True Blood.” Crazy is the norm.
DAVID: My favorite part was Jason being so excited about Violet leaving him that he didn’t consider what she would do next. Let’s not forget Jason is an idiot. He may be a cop, but we can’t forget where he started. This is the same man who, ahem, boinked a woman on top of the trash outside of Merlotte’s toward the start of the series. He may have evolved, but some things can’t be forgotten.
JOSH: I think there’s another HBO show that has done this storyline much, much better. There isn’t enough red wine in Cersei Lannister’s giant goblet to make me care about this family.
DAVID: They’re doing their best. I don’t even remember how they introduced Holly or when she became relevant, though I do enjoy Lauren Bowles’ acting.
JOSH: THIS SHOW HAS TOO MANY CHARACTERS.
DAVID: UGH give Sam someone reliable, dammit.