By Josh Axelrod and David Oliver
With only two episodes remaining in the final season of “True Blood,” the show seems to have wrapped up most of its major storylines already. Besides a little open-ended relationship drama, the only conflict now it seems will be if Bill is willing to cure his Hep V or not. Or if Arlene will sleep with Keith, which as conflicts go is only slightly less embarrassing than the whole werepanther storyline from a few seasons back that just got dropped forever. But we digress:
JOSH: Well, it appears they’re back together. Yay? Actually yay, because the only way to make Alcide’s death better is to at least get her back with Vampire Bill. But more importantly, I can’t think of one good reason Bill won’t drink Sarah’s blood. He saw that it cured Eric, so there’s no reason for him to not trust its effects. My only guess is that all those Bill flashbacks over the last few episodes have been trying to tell us that Bill is ready to die. In which case…sorry Alcide. You died just so Sookie could get back with Bill before he kicks the bucket. Although that would leave the door open for Sookie and Eric. God Sookie’s a slut.
DAVID: Yeah, I know I’ve been #TeamSookie lately for some reason (I have no idea why, actually, I guess sometimes I can be compassionate), but this is all laying out an opportunity for a Sookie/Eric reunion. And if this teaser from TVLine tells us anything, perhaps a real Bill/Sookie/Eric sexcapade might occur before series’ end. At least, that was my interpretation of the hint, though I’d be curious to hear what others think.
JOSH: One of the most understated moments “True Blood” has ever done — and it doesn’t try understatement often — was Eric telling Pam that they needed to get Sarah to Bill before the Yakuza returned. Think about the implications of that simple piece of dialogue. It was only a few seasons ago that Bill pushed Eric into Russell Edginton’s cement tomb in hopes he would be stuck there for as long as Russell (and we know how that turned out for both of them). Bill and Eric HATED each other for most of this show. Now Eric is actively trying to save Bill’s life. This show usually sucks at character development, but this felt genuine. Kudos.
DAVID: Agreed. Bravo, True Blood writers. It’s moments like this and Arlene and Sookie’s scene from a few episodes back that show how much these characters have grown, even through all the craziness they – and we – have endured over the last six and a half seasons.
JOSH: Woah, she really believes she’s some sort of vampire Jesus. Like, it has always been her destiny to deliver vampire-kind from the scourge of Hep V. Funny, coming from a woman who made it her goal in life to eradicate all vampires just a season ago. But frankly, she’s always been crazy. So this transformation into a mental patient with a messiah complex doesn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. Seriously, Emmy voters: Anna Camp for best guest performance by an actress next year. She’s single-handedly making this show watchable.
DAVID: I may or may not have a shrine to Anna Camp. Side note: I don’t, but I’m probably making one soon.
JOSH: I’m almost sad to see Violet go. Her only real purpose was to give Jessica and Jason an excuse to have sex again, but she was pretty entertaining in her own right with her speeches about expensive sex toys and what things were like sexually in her day. Plus, she’s pretty easy on the eyes. But right as she was about to torture Jessica with the world’s most terrifying dildo, Hoyt saved the day and killed her. I assumed that was going to be Andy, but at least it showed that Hoyt cared enough about Bridgette to go after her after their fight. Except…
DAVID: Violet has freaked me out since day one. Also, can I just say how nice it is to have Hoyt back in the first place? I called this the second we saw him again, and I’m so glad I was right. It’s so clever how they’ve brought him right back into Jason and Jessica’s respective orbits.
JOSH: Why does this show insist on keeping Jason and Jessica apart? They’re perfect together. He’s dumb, she’s naive. They’re both sweet and inhumanly attractive. What’s not to like? But no, they had to stick with the label of “special friendship.” And now it looks like the show is trying to get Hoyt back with Jessica as Jason continues to make googly eyes at Bridgette. Remember when Hoyt was a good guy who would’ve never strayed from a girlfriend in 1,000 years? Alaska changes people, man.
DAVID: I am so torn with this decision. The Jessica/Jason chemistry is undeniable, yes, but let’s remember something. Jason, when it comes down to it, is simple. He always has been. He’s the town man whore-turned-cop with a heart of gold. He’ll never leave Bon Temps. Hoyt refused to live that life from the beginning – his first girlfriend was Jessica, a vampire, and even though she hurt him, he couldn’t face living the simple life in Bon Temps and fled to Alaska. He never fit the life Jason did. Looking at it like this, I can understand the writers’ decision for a potential Jessica/Hoyt reunion.
JOSH: I guess I can acknowledge this storyline now that it’s finally over. It appears we were just trying to get the Lettie Mae and Tara relationship a bit of closure? Well…goal achieved. But did we really need eight episode for this arc? Actually the most interesting part of this storyline for me was, now that I’ve seen Nelsan Ellis as Bobby Boyd in “Get On Up,” going back to watching him play Bon Temps’ favorite queen. Which tells you just how boring this subplot was overall.
JOSH: Sam wasn’t even in this episode. LOLZ.