By Sarah Jezior
Okay you guys, Bad Judge is getting pretty good. I laughed out loud multiple times and didn’t cringe once. I might even call it delightful. In this episode, a dangerous criminal Rebecca had previously sent to jail for drugs and weapons, has been released. She sees him at a bar (duh, it’s Fully Loaded Potato Skin Tuesday) and Tedward goes full court officer on her.
Tedward: “Everything I am, everything I know, has led to this moment,” [Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ swells in the background] “and if that man has harm planned for you? It is my duty to stand between you and that harm.”
Rebecca: “Tedward… are you saying you want to be the black Kevin Costner to my white Whitney Houston?”
Any and all references to “The Bodyguard” are amazing, and even if the rest of the episode had been terrible, this intro would have made up for it. Luckily for us, the episode continues to be funny and charming throughout.
This week a man named Charlie Lewis is on trial for stealing a knife from a gun store (literally bringing a knife to a gun fight ha ha ha.) The prosecution wants to send him away for 25 to life, as this is his third offense, and according to the law a third strike equals mandatory minimum. Rebecca, however, doesn’t feel his crimes merit that level of punishment. Lewis’s past two convictions have been Grand Theft Auto (driving away with a neighbor’s riding lawn mower) and grand larceny (eating a $300 jar of caviar in the grocery store without buying it first.)
Charlie Lewis opts to defend himself in court, and “Judge Gandhi” (the prosecution’s nickname for Rebecca) struggles internally between strictly following the letter of the law, and making decisions that she feels are right on a trial by trial basis. Mr. Lewis is not great at defending himself, but he does, in my opinion, speak for the masses: “Everyone underestimated Elle Woods too. ‘All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.’ That is all I saw. And it was wrong. Let’s not make the same mistake.”
Meanwhile, Tedward is following Rebecca around everywhere she goes, including the ladies’ room, in the name of protection. Rebecca insists that she is fine, and to leave her alone, so Tedward does the only logical thing he can think of: he sneaks into her house in the middle of the night and attacks her in her sleep, in order to prove that she is not actually safe. He also insists she buy a gun.
Although very good with guns- she was apparently the only 11 year old in the county with a license to carry- Rebecca opts instead for a large crossbow.
The next day, Rebecca implores Tom (the DA) one final time to make a deal with Charlie Lewis. In the middle of their conversation, they are approached by the violent criminal stalking Rebecca! “You put me away for five years, Judge. And I just want to say thank you. I was going down a bad road, but I wasn’t some kind of thug that hurt people. The system was set up to just throw me out like garbage, but you didn’t let that happen. Yeah I got time, but not so much that I couldn’t have a second chance.” Hmm, sound familiar? Tom decides to think about making a deal with Charlie.
The finally reach an agreement: Charlie will plea guilty to misdemeanor burglary, and will serve two years at a minimum-security psychiatric facility. The punishment fits the crime!
1. They are not taking enough advantage of Ryan Hansen’s comedy.
2. I miss Robbie Shoemaker. How’s that lil guy doing?
3. I am LOVING Rebecca and Tedward’s relationship.