By Rachel DeSantis
After a two-week long hiatus thanks to the World Series, “Red Band Society” was back this week and, as per usual, featured some pretty laughable antics from our lovable (maybe?) Ocean View gang.
The episode began with Kara having a scary episode of her own. While hanging out on the roof, she suddenly blacked out, quietly asking Leo to take her downstairs to avoid telling the others about what was happening. While she’s downstairs avoiding Nurse Jackson and waiting for her spell to pass by asking Siri for help (not really sure why she wouldn’t want to ask a doctor for help if she thinks she just went blind, but whatever), the baby daddy from “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” shows up looking like a full-on Sodapop Curtis greaser and…pushes her into an elevator and walks away?? It was literally one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen on television. Like seriously who on earth is this guy, what the hell?
Meanwhile, Nurse Taylor Swift keeps flirting with Dr. McAndrew by saying cute, charming things like “will do-ski” and lecturing him about his ex. Sucks for her, though, because Dr. McAndrew’s ex-girlfriend (It’s Mandy Moore, zomg! Guess she missed acting in stuff about people dying of cancer *cough “A Walk to Remember *cough*) is back in town as the new Chief of Surgery! Cue “Teardrops on My Guitar.”
Kara learns her temporary blindness was caused by her weak heart, and the doctors decide to put her on a pacemaker. While heading into surgery, she sees creepy mystery boy! He’s got a failing liver. And despite the fact that he pushed her into an elevator for literally no reason at all, Kara is totally into him.
Back in the Leo-Emma-Jordi love triangle, Jordi has finally started taking classes with the rest of the kids. So I guess they do go to school? Also, there’s like 50 kids in this classroom. Where are they in every other episode? Anyway, the two end up battling it out over Emma during a class presentation and punches are thrown. The two are bickering like six-year-old boys and Emma is standing on the sides looking like their grammy, probably about to yell “Be careful, you youngins!”
Emma confesses to Leo that she wants to choose him, even though she wishes she wanted Jordi. They start making out again, and OF COURSE Jordi sees them. Why is he always watching them kiss, it’s creepy!
Kara gets a visit from her mom (who I totally just realized is Allie’s mom from “Pretty Little Liars”) and she suggests she needs a…change of heart. She basically tells her she needs to fall in love and be nicer if she wants to move up on the heart transplant list. Like that’s possible for the girl who cares more about her eyebrows than her pacemaker.
As for Nurse Jackson, she gets busted by Dr. McAndrew for falsifying Charlie’s blood work and he suspends her.
In an overly dramatic final scene, Jordi makes it known that he’s sick of his so-called “friends” and wants out of the Red Band Society. He rips off his red band and tosses it off the roof in some symbolic gesture. Looks like someone’s a little bitter over Emma.
Question of the Week:
- Seriously, who are all of those other kids that go to school with them? I guarantee at least 10 of those kids’ backstories would be more interesting than Dash’s.